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How to be a Good Interfaith Dialogue
Participant
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Listen
-- really listen. If you can really hear what others are saying, the group’s
discussion will be far more interesting, and you will learn much more.
Listening without judgment doesn’t mean you have to agree with what is
shared.
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Be honest.
People in the group want to hear what you really think, not what you think you
should say. Use this environment to share your heart and mind, speaking the
truth as you understand or experience it.
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Be open
to new viewpoints and new ideas. Each of us comes into interfaith dialogue
with a different perspective. Try to give all interpretations a hearing.
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Reaching consensus
on a topic is not the goal of an interfaith group. Learning, sharing and
interreligious understanding are. Even when you disagree, respect others --
their views, their opinions, and, most importantly, their beliefs. Be gentle
with each other’s differences. One can disagree without being
disagreeable. How you say things may be as important as what you say. Try
to say "I don’t agree with you" instead of "You’re
wrong."
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Don’t rush to
smooth over differences. Try to understand your differences and honor them.
There should be no proselytizing – hidden or overt – in this
setting.
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Don’t monopolize
the conversation . Be respectful of others and give
everyone an equal chance to speak. Remember that you will learn more from
hearing others talk than you will from hearing yourself talk.
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Be prepared to offer
your best reflections on your own experience. A good discussion depends on
every group member bringing his or her best thinking to the discussion – as
well as his or her feelings and beliefs.
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You are here as individuals ,
not as official spokespersons of your faith. Some views may well represent the
official doctrine while others may not.
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As individuals, be
mindful of the use of the terms "I" and "We."
"I" refers to personal beliefs and thoughts, while "we"
refers to those of a group.
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Speak when it is
comfortable for you to do so; you have the right to
‘pass’ on a question or comment and so do others. Don’t insist that
someone share their thoughts but do make them comfortable enough to do so.
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Please be
respectful of each participant. Anonymity and confidentiality
are essential tools for building an environment of trust that enables everyone
to speak freely. Share what you have learned from the dialogue without
identifying persons by names unless they say it’s O.K.
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Don’t be afraid
to ask others to clarify their comments or questions; we are all here
to learn. Often we respond before understanding.
Rights, responsibilities, and skills of
dialogue
For true dialogue to occur it needs to take
place within a protective environment of mutually accepted rights and
responsibilities, rooted in two fundamental values: respect for the human
person and trust in the process of dialogue. Dialogue works best when the
participants are willing to develop certain skills that facilitate the process.
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Rights |
Responsibilities |
Skills |
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Each personal has the right to define him/herself
without being labeled by others.
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Each person must be willing to seriously question
his/her assumptions about "the other." |
Each person should be able to evaluate and articulate
his/her own attitudes, values and positions on issues within the context
of his/her tradition.
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Each person has the right to express his or her beliefs,
ideas and feelings.
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Each person must allow others the same right of
self-expression that s/he expects for him/herself.
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Each person should learn how to temporarily set aside
his/her own views and feelings in order to be more sensitive to what the
other is saying.
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Each person has the right to ask questions that help
him/her understand what someone else has said.
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Each person should ask questions that respect the other’s
right of self-definition, even in times of conflict or disagreement.
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Each person should learn how to respond to questions in
ways that help others understand.
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Each person has the right not to change or be coerced to
change.
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Each person must accept the others as equal partners in
the dialogue, and acknowledge the dignity of the traditions represented.
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Each person should learn to deal with different points
of view while maintaining his/her own integrity.
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Each person has the right to expect that what is said
will be held in confidence.
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Each person must agree to hold what others say in
confidence.
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Each person should learn to deal with others from a
position of mutual trust, based on an expectation that others come to the
dialogue in a spirit of honesty and sincerity.
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