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Regarding the Treatment of Women in Islam
Some observations
by Laura Ellen Shulman
The basic premise behind the treatment of women in Islam is
that the man is expected to protect the woman and to respect all women in
society. Paternity (family) issues are also of extreme importance in Islam and
thus impact on this issue of treatment of women.
To truly appreciate Quranic guidance on the treatment of
women, we should see it in the light of seventh century Arabia rather than in
relation to the 21st century Western world. When Islam came to the seventh
century Arabian culture it greatly improved the life for women over what it had
been. Islam clearly advanced a woman's position in society well above the norm
for those days in Arabia or, for that matter, the norm for most if not all
cultures at that time. In other words, the Quran and Islam was actually ahead
of its time:
Islam gave women the right to inherit property (women
themselves were not to be considered property). It limited the number of wives a
man could have (no more harems or sexual relations outside of marriage). Islam
also insisted that all a man's wives be equally housed and supported by their
husband (no more tossing aside a woman once the man was tired of her). The man
should also maintain responsibility for any children he may sire with any and
all of his wives (no more child abandonment). The Quran and Islam specified
special care be extended to widows and orphans and that infant girls no longer
be slaughtered in preference for sons.
Another thing we should be aware of when considering the issue
of women in Islam is to distinguish between culture and religion. Women are
treated differently in different Muslim countries. Often the harsh treatment we
hear about is not truly supported by the Islamic religion, it is a
culturally dictated application of Muslim injunctions if not an outright
misinterpretation and perversion of the faith. We should not blame the religion
for the faults of the people who [supposedly] follow it. It is certain cultures
that are geared toward treating women as second class citizens not the Muslim
religion itself. There is no single "Muslim culture." There is quite a
range between various Muslim cultures in different Muslim countries - some are
much more liberal than others, some are quite conservative in the extreme.
The comments that follow are certainly not a complete picture
of the issues involved. There are many other issues regarding women in Islam
that have not been touched on here.
In addition, the issue of women in religion in general is the
subject for an essay (if not an entire book) on its own. Suffice it to say here
that for thousands of years we have lived in male dominated, patriarchal
societies and the religions that have developed in these societies have
naturally reflected the cultures they grew up in.
Modest Dress:
The veiling of women in Islam varies greatly from culture to
culture. More liberal "modest dress" involves little more than long
skirts (or pants), long sleeves and a head scarf. Countries like Afghanistan
(under the Taliban rule) have taken the Quranic injunction of "modest
dress" to the extreme - an extreme that even moderate (not to mention more
liberal) Muslims would say is going too far and is not demanded by the
faith itself. In addition, the injunction for "modest dress" applies
to men as well as women. You will not find Muslim men wearing shorts or tight
jeans.
"But why the modest dress in the first
place?"
The entire "modest dress" issue is to focus on other
people for more than animal instinct. If Jewish law says to not commit adultery
and Jesus preached that even lusting in the heart is a sin, Islam takes it a bit
further in saying that to entice another into so lusting is also an unrighteous
act.
For the promotion of the woman as a person first, a
female second:
Islam does recognize that a woman can do the same work
as a man. Islam holds that a woman can express her inner beauty and
abilities better if the distraction of outer beauty is hidden.
I saw an interesting interview with a Muslim woman who sees
Western woman as ego driven (trying to act like and be treated like a man but
still living in our society as second class citizens). She sees the Western
woman's dress, where the women is physically attractive to the man, as
superficial. In Islamic society, she said, a woman is known for her intellect,
for what is on the inside rather than for her superficial outer appearances.
Islamic men get to know women from the inside out - personality first, physique
second. This is, perhaps, a lesson western culture can take from Islam (even if
we don't go so far as to veil women, we can at least practice the principles
behind hijab).
The woman being interviewed was a modern Islamic woman from
Iran. She is a scholar and author of many books on women and Islam. She did not
wear the heavy black cloak and veil. She wore simple modest dress with long
sleeves, long skirt and head scarf.
She also pointed out that, in Muslim countries, this dress is
not forced upon the women, they choose to wear it. (Personally, I wonder
if that choice is really more out of desire to fit in with the social
expectations than for personal religious reasons - similarly, with the style of
clothes we each "choose" to wear: we tend to follow cultural norms.)
A Muslim student has observed (June 2009):
I can only speak for myself when I say that I am
not the property of my husband. My body belongs to the one who created it, and
will go back to him. The hijab was meant to protect women form the unwanted
attention of ogling men. Islam recognizes the weakness of men is women,
and the most beautiful feature on a woman is her hair. If a man saw a bald woman
in public he wouldn't find her attractive. Hijab is to prevent men from looking
at her as mere sexual object. Men and women are commanded to lower their gaze.
This means that Men are not supposed to look at things that might stir up lust
in their hearts. This teaches men that women are to be respected and they are
not entitled to see anything on her body unless she is his wife. Women by nature
are modest creatures. We can't protect ourselves with strength so God gave us
shyness and modesty. What is a man going to look at a women who wears hijab and
loose fitting clothes or a women who wears tight clothes and has her hair done?
If all women covered themselves in our societies what do think might happen? Men
would not have anything to compare their wives against. She would be the most
precious and beautiful woman in his eyes. This is the essence of hijab to keep
the exclusivity of the women only to her husband and vice versa. I feel like in
our society because it is not the norm to wear hijab that people are so quick to
try to put the hijab down, or revaluate why women should or should not wear it.
I also feel like our society is run by the desires of men, and women are left
trying to live up to ridiculous standards. Look at what they are doing with
Michelle Obama. She is mother of two, educated, successful, good hearted, and
smart, but our society is concerned with headlines on making her the sexiest
woman on the cover of Maxim. There is something very wrong with this picture.
She is someone’s wife and mother, yet our society is only interested in
showcasing her sexiness? Our society is only concerned with the outer
characteristics of a woman’s beauty, and if you’re not sexy or beautiful
then will never fit in. So no hijab is not meant to make woman the property of
her husband. It is meant to show men that we will not be subjected to your
inappropriate glances and gestures. We are more than eye candy and we will
ultimately decide who gets to see us. Our husbands have to protect their eyes as
well by lowering their gazes, and while doing so remembering the treasure they
have in a wife who is for their eyes only. It works both ways.
For the protection of women:
In many Muslim cultures and families women are not to go out
unaccompanied by a male relative. Several years ago I had a young Muslim girl as
a student in my freshman religion class. She had been born and raised in America
but she was not allowed to date or to even go out alone or with her girlfriends
without a male relative as an escort. She did not much care for this and thus
was rather down on her religion.
What she failed to understand was the premise behind this
injunction: that a woman alone in public makes herself vulnerable to
unscrupulous men. The male relative is to be with her in public as a deterrent
and protector from any potential attack from strangers.
"Why is it," one might wonder, "that a woman
has to cover herself to protect herself from being molested?" Perhaps it
would be nice if we lived in a world where women did not have to be concerned
about such things. But Islam is practical. We can look at our own culture and
see the results of women not covering themselves in public. How often,
when a woman is raped, does the defense attorney place the blame on the victim
for wearing attractive clothes? If our culture were more like Islamic culture
regarding women, such blame could not be placed on the victim.
"Aren't these women uncomfortable in the summer?,"
someone might wonder. Imagine if we were in some tropical land where it was
common practice for women to go around bare chested. How likely would you be to
shed the clothes you are used to wearing? You'd rather sweat than uncover
yourself. I imagine that may be how these Muslim women feel here: they have been
wearing these clothes all their life and would feel naked without the cover. So
maybe they are physically uncomfortable but there is more to "comfort"
than physical concerns.
Marriage Muslim style:
Interfaith marriage:
As I understand it, a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim
woman without any insistence that she become Muslim but with the expectation
that, by example, the wife may very well eventually accept Islam as her own
faith.
On the other hand, Muslim women are not allowed to marry a
non-Muslim man because the feeling is that the man is more of an influence on
the wife than the woman is on the husband. In such a case the fear is that the
non-Muslim man might (intentionally or not) influence his wife away
from Islam.
I have known an Imam of a local mosque who's wife was from a
Christian Science background. She eventually did accept Islam and their many
children have been raised Muslim.
Multiple wives:
"No cheating on your wife, but don't worry you can have
up to four of them! Did I read that right? Is it all at once or one after
another?"
It is all at once. But keep in mind that in pre-Islamic
Arabia it was common for men to have harems of unlimited numbers of women some
they were married to, many they were not. All were at his disposal for the
man's sexual pleasure and to serve him. Four wives whom he must treat with
respect and support would have been a limitation. Those four wives may be
taken "all at once" but only so long as the man can support them all
at once, equally. This practice may have been practical in those days when
many women were left widows due to their husbands dying in battle. Rather than
remain unprotected, they would be taken into another man's household but he
would have to marry them to do this legitimately in Islam.
These days, many Muslim man do not take more than one
wife even though it is permitted by the religion. If the country they live in
(e.g. the U.S.) does not permit it, they abide by the laws of the state. For
practical reasons, since they cannot support more than one, many Muslim men do
not take more than one. Even the Quran makes it clear (in sura 4.3)
that if the man cannot "deal justly" with more than one then he
should limit himself to just one wife. And, of course, he has to support not
only his wives but whatever children he may have with them all. It would take
a truly rich man to be able to support such a family!
"What about arranged marriage?"
Islam is not the only culture that arranges marriage. This
was and remains a common practice in India (amongst Hindus and often others).
In most such cases the premise is that it is not just two individuals uniting
as one but two families! As such, the families are involved in the
decisions. It is also common that the young people to get married have the
option to veto the choice and another match will be found that is more
suitable to them.
It was hardly a century ago in our own culture when it was
common for parents to [more or less formally] identify potential mates for
their children. To some extent parents in our own culture still try to
do this. Now we have other people (professional matchmakers) and even
computers (computer dating) finding us suitable partners.
Choosing a mate based on fleeting emotional feelings of
"love" (lust?) leads to disaster when those feelings fade. A third
party can make more objective and rational decisions with such an important
issue. True love and respect grows with time, lust quickly fades and then
there is nothing more to hold the couple together and their differences grate
on each other.
Is it, perhaps, because we poorly choose our own mates that
so many marriages end in divorce? I am sure it is because our parents
are not involved in the choice that there are so many in-law problems! Is
disregarding our parents wishes and advice in keeping with the commandment to
"honor your parents"? Perhaps we can take a lesson from these
cultures that arrange marriages.
Divorce Muslim style:
As I understand (from an Imam) Islam allows for divorce and
even for the woman to initiate it (unheard of in seventh century anywhere when
women were still commonly considered the property of the man). If a man
wants to divorce his wife he needs to declare so to her after her
menstrual cycle but before having sexual relations with her again. Then
he must wait three months before the divorce is final. Anytime during this
wait he may change his mind and take back the decree. During this wait he must
also not have relations with her. If he does he declares by his actions
that he takes back the decree and the process would have to start all over
after her next menstrual cycle. This wait serves the purpose of assuring that
the woman is not pregnant with his child that he would be responsible for even
after a divorce.
A woman can initiate divorce simply by declaring so (I do
not recall hearing that she must wait a certain time for it to take).
The basic principle at work here is twofold: respect for the
woman's rights and responsibility of the man for his children. Even in
divorce, the Muslim man is expected to maintain support for his children.
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